AN EXCERPT FROM “A JOURNEY OF INSIGHTS:”
"This book draws upon the lessons I learned while a teacher and dean of USC’s Marshall School of Business and the lessons I absorbed during my preceding years at the University of New Mexico, at Harvard Business School, and in business. In trying to plot the road map for a successful business life, my stories attempt to show illustratively the secrets or ingredients of how students, as well as business schools, can prosper. At the core of my message is the central theme that listening to voices around you throughout life is the key to success. In essence, ears can speak louder than voices.
The value of listening was shown to me dramatically by one of my professors, Anthony Athos, during my second year in graduate school. Athos taught classes in interpersonal and organizational behavior and was amazing in the classroom. In 1966, he was on the cover of Time magazine, being recognized as one of America’s “great teachers” by that publication. As students in his classroom, we knew we were in the presence of a true icon in his world.
Tony was strong in his belief that a good leader is a GREAT listener, and he spent a considerable amount of time talking about that. It was so important that he asked us for a demonstration of our listening skills as the final examination in his course. And what an exam it was.
We were to call upon someone we knew, but not too well, to come to campus where we could interview them. A fellow classmate would sit quietly during the interview and grade how well we listened. We were only allowed to ask one question in a forty-five-minute interview, and then we could repeat the last phrase or sentence the interviewee had uttered, or just say “Ahhh” or “Oh?” or “Uh-huh.”
We literally were not to talk during this time.
I had invited Bill Townsend to be my interviewee. He was the brother of a woman I was dating at the time. He came to campus, and we sat in a small carrel in the hallway, secluded, with my classmate/grader in attendance as well. Perhaps I hadn’t explained that situation to Bill too thoroughly, because the first thing he said once he took a seat was, “Jim, what is this all about?” I answered with the one statement I was allowed, which I hoped would trigger our interview: “Bill, tell me about you.” That was ALL I could say. Bill proceeded to tell me that he had grown up in a Midwestern city, but subsequently left to come to the Northeast in search of a job. As I repeated the last phrase he had said or egged him on with a series of “Ahhs” and “Ohhs,” he opened up about so many things that I could barely keep up.
By the end of the required forty-five minutes, I had learned that he did not like his dad, was jealous of his much brighter sister that he did not like his dad, was jealous of his much brighter sister, had no self-esteem, had a drinking problem, had a drug problem, and in general was a mess! I cannot tell you how many times I wanted to come over the table and tell him, “You need to get help—NOW!” but I couldn’t, and I didn’t.
At the end of the “interview,” I was sweating profusely—yes, imagine breaking a sweat from just listening? Though I had barely spoken, my throat felt so dry and tight that I was in desperate need of a drink of water. As I excused myself and headed for the nearest drinking fountain, Bill turned to my classmate and proclaimed, “He’s a great guy, isn’t he?” He knew nothing about me from that interview, and yet thought enough to make that statement. The power of listening had proven itself to me in two ways: I had learned A LOT about Bill, and he came away knowing I cared about him because I had taken the time to listen. Every time I have used this technique to gather information, I am floored by how much I truly learn. People are willing to speak to others if others are willing to listen.”